#FUNNY CLEAN TEXT JOKES DRIVER#
#FUNNY CLEAN TEXT JOKES FULL#

I would’ve kept off the grass, but I don’t understand sign language.ģ4. She got fired from the hot dog stand for putting her hair in a bun.ģ3. You can’t explain a pun to a kleptomaniac. Why do North Koreans draw the best straight lines? They have a supreme ruler.ģ1. I have a lot of jokes about unemployment, but none of them work.Ģ6.Why did the ancient Egyptians like to keep their heads shaved? To be more Pharaoh-dynamic.Ģ7.What do you call an explosive monkey? Baboom!Ģ8.What time did Sean Connery go to Wimbledon? About tennish.Ģ9. What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals? Phillipe Philoppe.Ģ5. So, exactly HOW far do you need to see, dude?”Ģ4.

The doc takes him over to the window, points up to the sky, and says, “What do you see up there?”ĭoc says, “That’s right. He says, “I have trouble seeing things at a distance.” Did you hear about the kidnapping in the park? They woke him up. You: Control freak… Alright, now you say, “Control freak who?”Ģ2. What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast? A synonym roll. Guy 1: Yeah! I woke up every 2 hours crying!Ģ0. Why do space rocks taste better than Earth rocks? They’re a little meteor.ġ9. What do you call it when Batman skips church? Christian Bale.ġ7. This grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, I have a drink named after you!” The grasshopper looks confused and says, “You have a drink called Irving?”ġ5.When does a joke become a dad joke? When it’s apparent.ġ6. One turns to the other and says, “Dam.”ġ4. aren’t you that rope who was just in here?” Larry replies, “No, I’m a frayed knot.”ġ3. He goes back inside and in a low voice says, “Beer, please.” Bartender says, “Hey. Larry steps outside, ties himself into a clove hitch and unravels one of his ends into a feathery mess.

The bartender looks at him suspiciously and says, “Hey, Pal, we don’t serve ropes here.” Larry was an old piece of lasso who steps into a bar one day for a drink. What did they give the guy that invented the door knocker? A No-bell prize.ġ2. My dad used to always say, “You should fight fire with fire!” Which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire department.ġ1. A sandwich walks into a bar, the barman says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food in here.”ġ0. Plateaus are the highest form of flattery.ĩ.

#FUNNY CLEAN TEXT JOKES DRIVER#

The next day, the police officer pulls the same car over again, and says, “Hey! I told you to take these penguins to the zoo!” The driver says, “I did, and today I’m taking them to the movies!”Ĩ. The officer tells the driver, “You can’t be doing this, you need to take these penguins to the zoo!”

#FUNNY CLEAN TEXT JOKES FULL#

He stays up all night long wondering if there’s a dog.ħ.One day, a police officer pulls a car over and sees the backseat is full of penguins. A friend of mine is an agnostic, dyslexic insomniac. A father was washing his car with his son and the son asked, “Dad, can’t you just use a sponge?”Ħ. You know, there’s a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.Ĥ.I’ll never forget my dad’s face when I gave him his 50th birthday card, tears in his eyes, as he said to me, ‘One would have done.’ĥ. The rabbit says, “I believe that I am a type o.”ģ. A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.

Funny clean text jokes